Well, for all my "big talk," I sometimes just don't know if this is worth it or if I can even do it.
Things were going well today...church, sunday school, the usual routine. Then my W and I start talking about going to my son's out of town football game on Monday...except when my W brings it up, instead of mentioning the town the game is in ("what time do we have to leave for <town> tomorrow?"), my W mentions the town that OM lived in...the names are very similar.
I didn't lose it or anything, but man did I zone out (in?). Just couldn't look at her, couldn't talk. Just seized up before I could even think about it, when just seconds earlier everything was chatty and light.
I tried to mask it but she could tell...ended up apologizing a few minutes later before taking the kids to the store:
W: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. They just both sound the same, it just came out."
Me: I know, don't worry about it.
W: Really, I didn't mean anything by it.
Me: Don't worry about it, really. Be careful driving.
She hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and left.
Least I didn't cry or anything. Still feels like I been kicked in the gut by a mule.
Oh well...it's only been three months...maybe it gets easier.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
