Not terminal. She can HAVE orgasms, that's good. The more the better - get that oxytocin flowing!!! And she's given you a hint about the emotions - she probably is one of those women who needs the romance, no? The old saw is: men need sex to feel close, women need to feel close to have sex.
I'm betting the old guy wasn't better in bed than you, or better looking than your newly buffed self. What drew her in was probably the romance.
Now, of course, it's hard to figure out how to romance someone who doesn't want to be romanced. Definitely read The Five Love Languages by Chapman - that's an essential starting point, and a quick read. Then can you get her to go on dates with you? Maybe if you couch them as activities and not "dates" per se? If you can - then plan dates that are designed to make her fall back in love with you. Scientists that study this say adrenaline contributes to "falling in love" - so rollercoasters and scary movies are good. Concerts and comedy clubs are probably good too. Dinner out is kinda bad - too much room for bad convos to develop.
If she's depressed, then exercise dates are good because exercise is good for depression. Would she be interested in taking a salsa-dancing class with you? Could you get her to consider a dream vacation with just the two of you? (I know, she would probably resist right now, but maybe you could just start talking about how "someday" you'd like to go to Tuscany, or some such.)
BTW - like your screen name. When I first came here I had a different screen name - toughenough4love. Always thought of the Bruce Springsteen line - "if you're rough and ready for love, baby I'm tougher than the rest"
