Thanks. I'm staying strong, with God's help, and staying positive. I had really already GAL and started the 180 before the bomb was dropped, which is the funny/sad part. As part of moving to our new town and taking the new job, I had already decided to work on the marriage cause I knew it needed work. Just didn't know it needed this much!
Our MC is very solution-oriented and consistent with DB, so he's basically been validating most of what I've been doing.
But I'm still not getting the ILY's, so I'm not giving them either...but I AM demonstrating my love, just not saying it. Think that's the way to go in this sitch?
It's wierd...I'm getting the sex, but not the ILY's...in all honesty, I'd rather have the ILY's, if I had to choose between the two.
Things are pretty good, but there's no affection from her that isn't obviously forced, and from her I'm still getting the, "You know, you're in the best shape ever" (running, lost 60 pounds, got the muscle back to...the kids call me "the new 'buff' dad"), "you dress better, you're still handsome, you've got a good job and great prospects, and personality-wise you're better than you've ever been, but I just can't imagine being attracted to you or feeling anything for you again."
Man, that hurts. What IS the deal? Has it not been enough time (just 2 months since she told me about OM and broke off contact)? What the heck can I do about that? Already GAL, already PMA, both already committed to having the best marriage possible.
My concern is that by ML when she's really just "acting as if" will sort of just reinforce the negatives...sort of call attention to the fact that she doesn't feel anything for me...even though she says she wants to, just can't. OTOH, I can't imagine refusing to ML when she's willing, just doesn't "want" to.
This stuff'll drive you nuts!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
