Cherrish Needs Immediate Help!!!!!

[missmyhusband]

Frank, your last post touched on a good point regarding the "reason" your W was not more strong with regards to telling you how she was feeling or what she wanted. I wonder how many WAS's did not communicate their concerns better for fear of losing the LBS.

It seems ironic, sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The WAS shuts down or doesn't take stand for fear of losing their spouse. Yet the lack of communication makes it inevitable. And if things are not ironic enough; they are the ones that end up leaving!

This is exactly what happened in my M. I think it is probably very common. For some reason my H did not feel that he could tell me about his true feelings, fear of losing me, his insecurities, etc. Then we began to go to counseling, but shortly thereafter, he just shut down completely. I felt completely in the dark all of a sudden, just after having been shocked to hear that he was unhappy. This was the time when I needed information the most, but he just wasn't communicating at all. What's funny is that he kept telling me that "we have communication issues". Well, yes, when you hide your emotions for a few years because you are being "polite", that's what happens- there's no communication.

Then all of a sudden my H just decides to leave, decides that our R can never get better. Of course it can't if he's not willing to work on our communication issues!

Isn't strange how their insecurities and fear of abandonment actually manifest themselves in their walking away from the M?

Frank, thank you so much for putting all of this out there. I'm learning so much from your experiences and appreciating that more every day. Thank you.

Cherishher, you had quite an eventful weekend, my friend! I hope that you are well. Sending warm thoughts your way.