There are several other men on this board who are in similar situations and they are only now starting to see that they married someone who needs their support now more than ever - without enabling their bad behaviors at the same time.
It's really hard to do.
this is the hardest thing to learn ..... I also learned the hard way. To support them without enabiling and to point out the faults they need to change without being b*tchy, to help them grow. Funny my H neede me to be strong too, has told me this many times during our reconciliation...so now I work on my strength and being strong and helping support him in a way I could not quite get a handle on before... the differnce in how it is received is amazing...
And I have to work on my voice b/c it is not natural for me to use it b/c I lived in fear for sooooo ,so long. God bless...
