david: reading your statement gives me a ray of hope although my h has started the basic legal procedure. i have a dream too but i was not strong enough seven months ago when he left...could not detach, accept what is happening (and i should have...we had been separated for a year four years before)..BUT i am detaching, have read DB and read DB and other books. the dream is far fetched (he has OW and has had them before...trust would be a big thing plus our four children who are all out of the house think i would be nuts to reconcile since they see him as a bad man) but i am still hoping. most people think i am reaching for something that can longer exist. h says he is not coming back ever, he wants out and to move on. can't be more definite than that....BUT maybe like you something will happen that will change. i know i am changing but he does not see that. we talk on the phone occasionally but when i saw him yesterday (he picked me up at the service station and took me to work since my car had to be serviced) for the first time in 8 wks it was difficult for him to see any change in a five minute early morning car ride...one thing i do know, my heart fluttered and i felt like a kid with a crush on a special guy.
your strength is catching. congratulations. working on a marriage 24-7 is the key. my h does not realize that! i would like him to read some of the things i have read. he read frank pittman's 'grow-up'. i don't know if he got it since his only comment after reading it was, 'the guy is against divorce.'
keep sending us people your advice. everything helps.
