You brought up so many valid points, thoughts and goals. I really admire your honesty and it brought back up something for me... I wonder at first how badly I did want Wanker (Dave) back in my life or did I just want to prove that I could take him back from OW. It was fun when I felt that he was talking to me behind her back and then when he basically asked me to end it for him. I remember one day laughing "HA HA I had become the OW." But when it just came down to it, I couldn't do it. The words "You were miserable in our relationship" kept echoing in the corner of my mind. He told me that when we met up once to "talk." He was right. So very right... while I did love him, my life was falling down all around me. I was so taken up with taking care of him and being "mother" to his alcoholic lifestyle that I forgot who I was. Sometimes, being honest here, I wonder knowing all that I know now about DB and codependency if I had handled things differently, where would we be.
But I think the greatest release for me was in finding someone. Gave me a much clearer view on what was so wrong in that relationship with Wanker and how I accepted crumbs instead of the full cake!! Now I can have my cake and enjoy it... guilt-free!
LOL... the vision of you bringing a date home... "Oh don't mind the guy on the couch, that's my H, he won't care..." I can just see the date running for his dear life.
The only concern I have is right now your H has the best of both worlds... loving Anna who is there and gives him his Anna fix and then the OW who does whatever the hell it is that she does ;-) Sounds like you are weaning him off gently and considerately... just becareful, you. I think you are very in tune with the reality that if there is a reconciliation to be had you would both still need to be on your own before it could take place. That would truly be the smartest thing.
