Let Loose on EA or bust my GAL???????

[cat03]

How many others have spouses, back home or not, that for many reasons are able to still piece, having them totally silent about the A, what led up to it, and where they are now in their R? Mine is, was, and am afraid will always be that way. How do deal with our needs to heal and build from there, not to dwell on the past, but to build something better. yes, I am in C, H not and will not agree. My C had an interesting comment saying, that if my H seems totally hurt by this verbal communicatin, then MC is "talk therapy" and he will definitely not feel this as a support. He is absolutely not open to any C at all.

When my H came back he made a point of telling me he wanted to leave all the past behind and didnt' want to talk about anything, After I discovered the A he still didtn' go into details, was mostly mad I snooped. Anyways, for about 3mths we'd have some talks that turned into arguments when I brought up the subject and some truths came out. Only a few times I was able to get him to answer my questions. I'd ask him "was it because of xyz that you went w/her?" or I 'd tell him my feelings/thoughts of why I thing it happened then he'd tell me his side.

But yes, above all my H never wanted to talk about the A, and after these months I dont' either, I think I got enough info, and it is true that the more you know the worse it is, the more questions arise and the more mental picts embed in your brain. Had I not look into my H's stuff I'd never find out it was a PA, I still dont' know if it wouldve been better never to know.
Anyways, your H should be able to at leat tell you the gist of it, I told my H I neede to know so I was sure that he didn't want her anymore and in the future wouldnt' go back to her.