yes looking at H's having a "mental condition" is a mild way to put it!!! I've seen others describe it better with words I often use myself. I have 2 children, D22-lives in her own apt., but I am lucky she is near. S19 home and at community college. The S for us also brought on more issues with my H and the kids. H was the one to blurt out to them about OW, and it has taken about a year to have D begin to talk again and my son, well he is the happy go lucky kid living in his 19yr. old life, as he should be, but is also feeling the distance.
Still believe my H very depressed and the OW was definitely his bandaid during the PA, and I am still not 100% convinced no further PA, but feels he needs the stroking of her. Never met her, think my H was her "rescuer". The OW apparently had an ex abusive H, and my H found her at a time our marriage was in a very low point because of both of us letting it get that way.
I know in many ways I am lucky to have H home, even if he is sulky, depressed, silent, and probably so involved in his own issues, he may never get the whole picture of what I am feeling or went through. Just like many of us here. What I do know for sure, is that I am still not pushing MC, picking rare moments for R talk and this is hard for myself. Yes, read the 'after the affair" book ALOT!!!
Was thinking that if I gave my M a score (0-10) preaffair, it would have been probably a 3, during the affair down to a 2, and now maybe a 5. But too bad the 5 has to be because of an A, because of this OW.!!!! This OW that still is trying to stroke my H with the EA. But as all of us, we are the strong, confident ones who have made it this far. I'm proud of myself and so many others who have made a life for ourselves thinking that we want to try with our hearts and souls to commit to them, but harder now for me to sit on the sidelines and watch H do things "I can't fix" for him. For now going to trust the EA will dwindle and no PA--if I learn differently, a whole new story not to be dwelled on tonight.
how about hearing the good news we have all been doing?--I for sure had a great day with my D, bumming around the city of Chicago on a beautiful sunny day!!!-so lucky to have my kids! My H went to a family cottage "to be alone"--and I am hoping he is finding his own peace in the sun, guess that's all I can do for now.
back to work unfortunately tomorrow, so off to bed would love to hear the positives from others too--even if it's only eating mashed potatos!!!
