Well Mama, I think what you really need is some action, not words! It sounds like you could have had some, but you were interrupted. I'd talk to him about that. Make some changes in your life so you have more alone, uninterrupted time. One night a week when each child goes to a friends of grandma's to spend the night. Or a swap with another family. One night with a babysitter every week. Strict bedtimes, 8 pm, for the kids. Seriously, Mama, if you want to get together you got to create that first. Otherwise H feels the pressure, with no solutions. And it feels like it's all up to him to figure it out. Harley says couples need 12 - 20 hours per week of alone time (no others, just the couple) and more if the M is not strong and you need to build it back. He says couples say they can't manage that. And he says, is your M a priority or not? His Needs, Her Needs is a great book. It's time Mama for you to put some attention on rebuilding your M. Kids are notorious interruptors. They sense the closeness and they want in. And that can destroy the good energy between the parents that they were drawn to, ironically. YOU need to create the space, set the tone, put the M first. My two cents. Don't put it on H.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
