Hi PL, Thanks for posting to me. I started another thread in Piecing, thinking I could get some help/advice from people who have been where I am now. I took this from Believing Isiah's thread as it really applies to me as well:
Quote: Was reading Believing Isiah's thread and copied this:
I need to be supportive and not so fcuking DISAPPOINTED in what I am not getting from my H. That hangs like a black cloud over the atmosphere of this house and it's UP TO ME TO CHANGE THAT, not to wait for some happy pill to descend upon the home for me to get over my disappointment and ENTITLEMENT feelings. Which is somewhat understandable, but one hell of a cheesless tunnel here.
This speaks volumes for how I am feeling. I feel "entitled" I guess and "disappointed" when I don't get my way. I feel that H should be more affectionate towards me. I think that if I were to be in his shoes I would be kissing the ground he walked on for even still being here. Instead I am feeling like second best. Like the booby prize. He couldn't have her (for whatever reason), so he is stuck with me. He hates it, but oh well, he loves his kids...
I guess I want the fairy tale ending. I want him to purge his soul to me and beg forgivness and tell me that I am the greatest thing that ever happened to him in his life!!! Is that asking too much? Maybe, but how about somewhere in between what I am getting and that. He just seems so indifferent. I feel like he tolerates me and can't wait to either go to bed or go to work. Is this my mind spinning things? Who knows. What I do know is that even though H is back, I am not happy. Is this just part of the process? Should I just be MORE patient and hope for the best? This is so frustrating....as you all know, right? Time to self-medicate, huh? Just kidding. Maybe some tea.... Thanks for letting me ramble.
