Hi MamaBear, I think GH is right on on this. Try focusing on every positive you see, rather than dwelling on what's not there or doesn't fit your picture. Write them down. Every time you think something's missing, look for something you do like, don't stop 'til you find at least one and write it down. This is my new practice in my process, anyway - cultivating an "attitude of gratitude." If it turns out my H is never coming home, well geez he missed out, because I have a long list of things that are GREAT in my life... I do think your H is trying Mama. And sometimes the more focus we put on them, and what we're not getting, the worse it gets. So just kep focusing on being a better you.

And being assertive, asking him about things that are on your mind - that's all good. Especially if you've thought it over for a while, and you are not just spinning whatever worry it is today. You approach him calmly with the "real important" stuff (not just the daily insecurities, mind you - bring those here!), and I am sure you will continue to get the answers you need to keep going. Patience Mama. How's the self care coming along? Remember, one of the things you can do is take such good care of yourself that they notice... No harm in focusing on that

PositivelyListening
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When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller