Hi Mama, I can tell how frustrated you are, and believe me, I understand!! I wonder if it would help for you, if you went back to the DB basics. Get out of your head, and write some stuff down. What actions will you take, what baby steps will you be looking for? Focus on your behavior, and the behavior you see in response to see if you are on the right track. Also, when H's back is hurting, he is not himself. I know when my back is hurting, or when my stomach is upset, I am not "right" I am uncomfortable and it spills over. So this is important information. Anyway, I am thinking if you write stuff down, rather than pressuring H for an R talk, you will have the information you need. Then maybe set a time limit for yourself. Maybe one week, or 30 days, when you will reevaluate your sitch to see if you want to make some changes. We both know you can not go on like this forever. But it will not be forever. It will be as long as you say. Set some goals Mama. Put some action steps in place. Monitor the results. And stop making yourself crazy trying to figure out what H is thinking! I do that, cheeseless tunnel, so take it from me... I am rooting for you, Mama. Do something good for yourself today. BTW, how did the make up exploration and new look work out?

PositivelyListening
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When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller