Anyhow, H and I went to the concert last night. Had a good time till the ride home. Dr Jekyl came out. H said he didn't want to see the B-52's after all as it reminded him of my old life. I of course, got defensive and said ya know, if you want to leave me, just go. What's holding you back? He said he didn't want to leave me or our kids. He said he wouldn't give us up for anything or anyone. He said the grass isn't greener and that any two people will have conflicts. He said he loved me and he loved our kids and was committed to our life together. I of course pushed too far and we were yelling. He said he was tired and didn't want to talk anymore he said why do I keep pressing him. I said I just want our R to get better and I feel like we are stuck. He said he felt that our R was getting better and to give him time for us to be intimate again. (That is the jist of the conversation, if I remember anything else of importance I will post again)
This morning he left for work later than usual. I suspect it is because he is not rendevousing with OW in the morning like he probably used to. We hugged eachother (I initiated) and both apologized for yelling.
I am so mad at myself for fighting with him, if H and OW did break up I am supposed to be enticing him with my uncondtional love; which I did up until the end of the night. Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut. Why didn't I just validate that I was sorry that we went to see that group and leave it at that. I swear I am my own worst enemy!!! I am the one sabatoging our R!!! Somebody slap me!
