Instead of beating a dead horse talking to your wife get busy telling the enemy to get back to pit he crawled out of.
At the Name of Jesus every knee has got to bow.
EVERY knee.
If you want to fight from a position of authority do some studying about spiritual warfare.
Between that and the education you're getting from Frank, you'll be a formidible opponent of the one that wants to destroy your family.
Just one other thing...you asked why she would tell you about that trip right before her birthday and you suggested it was just to hurt you....what the hell does HER birthday have to do with you...unless it was that you wanted to do something for her and now she ruined it....hmmmmm???? well, HH, that just sounds like this is still a little too much about YOU...