Quote: As I explained to a friend tonight, these are my reasons I hold onto hope for my W:
1. She is my W
2. we have 2 beautiful children together
3. God wants my M to succeed even more than I do
4. I believe in miracles; God raised His Son from the dead, He can certainly redeem/restore my M
5. Prayer is about miracles. I pray for what I cannot conceive happening w/o God's intervention so that the glory will be His when my M is redeemed and restored
6. My love for my W is unconditional; I will know when I need to quit OR God will tell me it's time
7. I have forgiven my W for the wrongs that she has committed against me, our children, and herself. I have not forgotten, but I have forgiven and freed myself from needing to carry that burden around with me all the time. I am not her judge. I am her support, her husband. If I am not her rock, then who will be?
My friend kept saying you are wanting to stay together for the kids. I corrected her saying that NO ONE stays together for one reason. Our children are a huge consideration, but I desire a new M; one filled with trust, fulfillment, strong spirttuality, consideration and respect for e/o, fun, laughter, love, undying commitment and devotion to e/o, and LOTS of hard work to keep our M happy, healthy and whole. She also said, see you are still holding onto hope that SHE will turn around and see her life differently and THAT'S NOT going to happen. You deserve better. I told her that yes, I do deserve better and I want that better from my W and I believe it will be so with God's healing. I can tell she is shaking her head at me in disbelief, but I still STAND for my M and my W. No surrender. I told my friend that I will know when it's time to quit and that time is NOT now. I am standing up for myself and what is right for me and our children. I can't ask for mor of myself right now. I am doing all that I am capable of right now.
Today, I saw her at the office and I was cordial, but standoffish with her. I am NOT her friend. I will be her support, but not in an A. Her behavior was and is wrong in so many ways, as mine was. And so I converse daily with God in prayer for me, her, and our children.
As Oswald Chambers said: Prayer does not fit us for the greater work. Prayer IS the greater work.
Tonight W called to tell me that her friend is moving out of town and she wants to go out to dinner with her GFs to send her off. W asked if I was willing to be with our children for 2 hours. I told her that I have another Taekowdo class tomorrow night so I wouldn't be available. She said she'd make it work. I believe that althogh going to dinner with a GF is important, this is one more in a long string of 'events' which take precedence over spendingn quality time with her children, hence she 'misses' them so often despite having 55% of their time. I do have my Taekwondo class, so I am proud of myslf for not giving up what's part of my GAL to cover for her on HER time with oar children.
