Around midnight I received a text msg from W asking if I was awake. I hit her back that I was. She responded asking me if she could call. My S1 was waking up crying and I couldn't really text back much of a msg, so I hit her back w/ yes.
She calls and tells me the story. I was already prepared to tell her that I was there for HER, not ot listen to her about her R with OM. W called OM's girlfreind repeatedly and GF finally answered. W said that she never trusted that OM was telling the truth about NOT seeing GF anymore after the first bomb in their lovefest ecploded. W was correct. He hadn't. The are finished, again. Or at least until he weaves another web of lies and deceit to ensnare her again. W is so lost. It is clear that the enemy has her in his clutches. I know that saving her from the enemy and from herself is far beyond my abilities, and so I pray for Godly assistance.
SIDEBAR: Here's where my righteous indignation comes into play. Not that long ago I let W have it for unilaterally introducing OM to our D and then bringing OM over to her house for dinner with our children home. Without repeating the whole incident, W asked me when I thought it wss appropriate to re-introduce OM and our children. I told her when you get past the Jr. High, puppy love stage of I don't know you and you don't know me but isn't it fun and exciting getting to know e/o b/c it's so NOT real life; we don't have any expectations of each other so it's all so perfect. I told her gat past that stage, deal with expectations placed on e/o and the fights that will ensue, decide you are going to make it work still and THEN introduce my children to you fantasy world. Until then, leave them the F*CK out of it. NOTE TO SELF: I think they reached that point, except for the part about deciding they were still going to make all work. The real world can be such a b*tch sometimes, can't it?
W went on about OM's GF being bitchy towards her and treating W like W was stalking OM. Then, apparently, GF told W a bunch of disturbing stuff that really creeped W out and she felt afraid of OM. She then tried to go into talking about her R with OM and I stopped her, telling her I don't give a f*ck. I don't want to hear about your A. I told W that I can't value you more than I value myself and our children and I can't love you more than I love myself and our children. I told her that I am only willing to listen to her about her hurts.
I told my W that I have the uncanny ability to peg people quickly and accurately and I had pegged OM in the very beginning of that R. W asked how? I told her that OM isn't unique. There are thousands of guys just like him. W said she had never met any. Fortunately, Frank D had turned me on to some material about emotional predators earlier that same day and all of it fit OM to a T. I told W that she was just a notch on his belt and that he's probably out tonight or tomorrow night trolling for a new 'catch of the day.' My W is such a disaster right now, and I am working to keep my heart stiched together to keep myself open to reconciliation WHEN she comes back to me. Most people in my life who care about me tell me that I am nuts for holding on.
As I explained to a friend tonight, these are my reasoEill okrs viy wife 2. we have 2 beautiful children together 3. God wants my M to succeed even more than I do 4. I believe in miracles; God raised His Son from the dead, He can certainly redeem/restore my M 5. Prayer is about miracles. I pray for what I cannot conceive happening w/o God's intervention so that the glory will be His when my M is redeemed and restored 6. My love for my W is unconditional; I will know when I need to quit OR God will tell me it's time 7. I have forgiven my W for the wrongs that she has committed against me, our children, and herself. I have not forgotten, but I have forgiven and freed myself from needing to carry that burden around with me all the time. I am not her judge. I am her support, her husband.
My friend kept saying you are wanting to stay together for the kids. I corrected her saying that NO ONE stays together for one reason. Our children are a huge consideration, but I desire a new M; one filled with trust, fulfillment, strong spirttuality, consideration and respect for e/o, fun, laughter, love, undying commitment and devotion to e/o, and LOTS of hard work to keep our M happy, healthy and whole
I told W, if we are ever on better ground, I'll turn you on to what I've read. She immediately assumed that I had info on OM personally. I told her no, I just know his type. I shifted to conversation to me and my activities and after a while the conversatino lost steam and she wanted to get some sleep.
Today, I saw her at the office and I was cordial, but standoffish with her. I am NOT her friend. I will be her support, but not in an A.
It is clear that the enemy has her in his clutches. I know that saving her from the enemy and from herself is far beyond my abilities, and so I pray for Godly assistance.