Quote: Why do you ask her questions about her situation with OM all the time? Shge's not your 'friend' and you aren't there to 'fix it' for her.
Having trouble changing my basic nature of being a 'fixer.' I'm getting there, but it's taking me way too long. Ugh.
Quote: By asking her questions and giving advice you are making it seem 'normal' for her to commit adultery and act like a teenage slut.
I let my curiosity get the better of me. BTW, I wasn't giving her advice. I asked about OM's GF. I am having trouble reconciling how W is so enamored with someone she just met who is already two-timing her. Doesn't bode well for their future together.
Quote: Why?
Because I am still having trouble turning myself OFF and letting go and letting God. Jacka$$ that I often am.
Quote: You would be better served if you never talked to her about it UNLESS it involved the kids in some way. In fact, you should act with disapproval and NOT allow her to bring it up with YOU, again, unless it has something to do with the kids.
THIS I will do, going forward. Makes complete sense.
You're enabling her behavior, and it's hurting you which changes how you act around her. You need to detach more. She KNOWS she has you whenever she wants you because you TELL her and you ACT like it.
Quote: LET HER GO. You are still her landing pad in an emergency and she know it. She needs to fall on her face on her own.
Now, IF she falls - hard - then you do what Jesus would do and you help her back up. Until then you need to stop approving of her behavior.
I will do this also. My trouble lies in the fact that I am so gullible when it comes to her. If she is nice, all of my work goes out the window and I put too much creedence in ONE nice interaction.
Quote: Go silent about it. Tell her the subject of her adultery is not something you want to hear any more.
I will do this also.
Quote: And you do not want her to bring her affairs home to your kids because they are learning to be like her.
Unfortunately, I don't have control over who she decides to bring home and share her bed with. FYI, we haven't even file papers for a D yet, so nothing to tie her hands with with regard to bringing her adulterous behavior around our children. Perhaps THAT is the reason to file the papers alone?
Quote: Think about it.
I am. Often times I think that I am being more stupid than stong in my sitch. I must work on going silent and detaching. Unfortunately, she works in the same small office as me and types away on MySpace.com in our office and her GFs come in and she talks to them about her escapades within earshot of me. Grrrr.
I suppose I can always do what I told MIL I could do which is to do my field work and then do my paperwork from home. AND, I will continue looking for a different job, although not as openly as before. All will work itself out in the end.
