Why do you ask her questions about her situation with OM all the time? Shge's not your 'friend' and you aren't there to 'fix it' for her.
By asking her questions and giving advice you are making it seem 'normal' for her to commit adultery and act like a teenage slut.
Why?
You would be better served if you never talked to her about it UNLESS it involved the kids in some way. In fact, you should act with disapproval and NOT allow her to bring it up with YOU, again, unless it has something to do with the kids.
You're enabling her behavior, and it's hurting you which changes how you act around her. You need to detach more. She KNOWS she has you whenever she wants you because you TELL her and you ACT like it.
LET HER GO. You are still her landing pad in an emergency and she know it. She needs to fall on her face on her own.
Now, IF she falls - hard - then you do what Jesus would do and you help her back up. Until then you need to stop approving of her behavior. Go silent about it. Tell her the subject of her adultery is not something you want to hear any more. And you do not want her to btring her affairs home to your kids because they are learning to be like her.
