OK, my PMA is, more or less, where I need for it to be. I had an interesting evening with my in-laws. MIL and SIL watched our son from noon till 7PM. I went over there to pick S up and have dinner. The dinner conversation turned to SIL's best friend and W hanging out and that pissing off my SIL. No, I did not bring up the subject nor participate in the discussion.
Later in the evening, SIL and MIL took S and SIL's son up to bathe them. I was downstairs with my brother-in-law who makes no bones about his dislike of SIL's best friend. BIL then tells me his 'take' on my W and her behavior. BIL tells me that W is behaving very immaturely and that he believes that W has maybe 2 years to straighten out her act b4 D starts to make decisions on how she is going to behave as a woman. Either W straightens out her act and makes the right decisions and becomes a great role model to follow OR she continues acting so immaturely and D will decide how to behave in reverse by chooding to NOT follow what mommy is doing OR she may follow along with mommy's poor decision making example as her role model. Either way, W IS goint to impact our children greatly. I pray daily that God touches W to guide her along the path of becoming the woman that God always intended her to be.
BIL also said that SIL's best friend and W's friendship and hanging out so much is bound to fizzle out fast. There is an 8 year difference between the two of them and best friend is selfish and immature, and as the saying goes...water seeks its own level and W is certainly playing 'down' to be on par with the 24 yr old immature best friend. Plus, as BIL kept saying, W isn't getting any younger, no matter how much she tries to act younger and convince herself that she is younger. BIL also said that he believed that she is going to run out of steam soon, as do I. We will see. The said thing is that BIL told me that he and SIL believe that W has had a lot of practice living in denial when it comes to looking at herself and it's a strong poor character (lack of?) trait in W.
I am sad. EVERYONE who knows my W and has watched her behavior knows about my A and almost to a person, they all tell me that she seems to have the determination and the endurance to run from herself, her problems and reality indefinitely. They all also tell me to give up; throw in the towel, she's done and won't cut you any slack. I keep the Jeremy Camp song looping in my head: I will walk by FAITH, even when I cannot see. Faith is really all I have to go on besides the love I have for my W and family. By the same token, FAITH is really all I have to go on that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirity exist, and I KNOW they do!! So, my faith tells me that The Father and The Son want my M to survive more than I do. My faith tells me that God raising my M from what looks like certain death, is mere child's play compared to raising his son from the dead. In concert with my faith, I lay myself, my W and our M at the foot of the cross and ask that we all are consecrated with the sacred blood of Christ.
One last item. A special thanks to Doug01. He stopped in on my thread awhile ago and told me to quiet the voices. Each and every day the voices grow louder and more numerous and pound on the gate of my heart, mind, and soul harder and harder to cajole me into giving up on my W and M. But in the face of this growing surge of the enemy's brigade, I stand firm, emboldened that I stand for what is right AND righteous in my eyes and in the eyes of my God.
Doug01, or anyone who communicates with him, please tell him that his post touched me deeply and I would love to have him thim in again, if he can find the time and effort to devote his energy to me and my cause.
