Quote: Now, I think the lesson we are learning is mutual respect based on need and an acceptance that life can be easier together, rather than apart, as long as we can both agree to certain rules and division of labor. This may not be the fairy tale love. But I do think we can grow to care for each other and I think we can have a decent marriage. Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but its what we have to work with.
You can probably work with this, and I agree that the foundation must be mutual respect. If you don't respect each other (and it sounds like you don't), then you have to ACT like you respect each other. That means no name-calling, no huge displays of temper... IOW behave as politely and civilly with each other as you would if you were two total strangers who happened to live in the same house. Don't tell me you "aren't there yet." GET THERE. This is your work right here, right now. No matter how you feel about her and the stuff she does, you can control your behavior. You can't control hers, only yours.
