I'll absolutely concede that sticking with the approach I mentioned can be really difficult....it really does try me at times, but because I do see results it keeps me at it. It's a slow process though....it has to be slow though because it takes that time for my H to see that just because I say something, it doesn't mean I'm out to crucify him. It will take time with your W too.
Mind if I ask you why you felt the need to post anything in your defense on this? (But in my defense, I must say that if she would concede to some of my concerns or at least try to address them, a LOT of my “criticism” would go away.) At this time she doesn't concede etc, so really...IMPOV that's a mute point. I mean..."IF" our spouses would do many things...many of us wouldn't have the issues we do...the fact is though, right now they don't.
I've felt the same way with my H on many things over the last several years....but the fact is, I was dealing with someone for quite some time who would not concede....who wouldn't budge his position one bit, who if I said something that sounded remotely contrary to what he said...stopped listening.
I've really had to work on my approach with my H to make sure he doesn't feel attacked by me....because in my POV...it's really quite simple. As long as he feels attacked by me....he's not going to respond in the manner I'd like him to, because he'll be hearing me through defensive filters and he won't be hearing what I'm truly saying.
