Quote: It takes a really long time.....more time than most people are willing to give....UNLESS they do it for themselves. I quit calling my H names because I felt more like who I wanted to be,
Good on you, Heather. The time is probably somewhat commensurate with the duration of the prior bad relational interactions. A relational dynamic that has gone on for years is probably going to take more than a couple of weeks to effect a change.
From my viewpoint, when a person keeps saying "I act this way because he/she acts this way!" - that person is not autonomous - they are *being controlled*.
The very thing they declare they are strugging against.
That rates up there amongst the ultimate ironies of life.
The ability to continue to be integrous to yourself amidst an onslaught is truly an indication of being controlled by no one BUT yourself.
So, to say "I am acting this way because of you and I won't be controlled by you" pegs my irony meter.
