I'm posting between softball games, with time to think things over. I do understand what everyone is saying. I didn't miss the point. Thinking about it some, what I think makes me mad is that she is too much like my mother in that she really doesn't give a rat's ass about what ANYONE thinks, especially me. My mom would be just like this, and still is, when she gets mad. It doesn't matter whether she is all wrong and she knows it or not. She and my WILL NOT concede, and that absolutely infuriates me. There is no possibility for compromise or negotiation. The outcome of the relationship does not matter as they are both more than willing to take down anyone and anything to WIN.
The only way I foujd to counter this was to totally escalate the level of the fight to match what they were already doing. To me they had already broken all rules of civility and thrown the relationship out the window to boot. My escalation paled in comparison to this, I had already lost all respect for them and was now in battle with the devil herself. No holds are barred and cursing becomes a minor issue.
As I write this I am not too sure that I can find much fault with my logic even now. I have ALWAYS held myself within civility until W (or Mom) escalates. I believe that in any relationship both people must negotiate in good faith and from civility.
That may still noy sit well with everyone, but that is my belief, that is what I am up against, and that is how I deal with it.
