Thanks for the understanding. It means a lot right now. I’m taking a pretty good beating on this board, but I have not heard anything to change my mind on what my path should be. Others may not like it but tough. They don’t have to live my life either. I concede on the tactics I use, but I will fcuk up at times too. I don’t care what anyone says. W has a role to play in this. I can control my anger and my words, but W does not have the right to attack me as she does.
And if she does, I will only take so much. There is no way I will even try to make myself reach a level where I can keep absorbing hurt. At some point I will fight back. That is me. If she doesn’t like it, then she can either leave or stop attacking me.
No, our counselor is not Harley. I have read his books and he is often mentioned on this board. W is generally familiar with what he says, though I don’t think she has read any of his books.
Regarding our counselor, W is upset in that she thinks the counselor is siding with me in focusing on W’s issues. W had no problem going to session when the C had me under the spotlight. I did not like the feeling so I decided to turn the tables and started reading everything I could put my hands on. That is when the “power” balance in the sessions shifted and W started to become defensive. She has been digging in her heels ever since. She likes to assert how much she has changed and is working on things. If the counselor can see it then fine. But she does not see it.
As for the kids, I have heard the same comments from many other adults who wished their parents pushed them more as a child, whether that be in sports, music, or whatever. I do not think I am abusing this with my kids. I truly believe it is closer to a value issue.
