If you choose to take the tack of the last poster I'm sure you can figure out where you will end up. If that is where you want to end up then go for it. Otherwise, look at what others are saying.
The point is... Karen... I am where I am by NOT STANDING UP FOR MYSELF! Let me tell you... Karen... the decision on being married or divorced is NOT up to one person. And if that person sees you as a pushover punching bag... guess what's going to happen in the end???
I am not telling Cobra to be mean and spiteful and abuse his W.(the thing with his children is a whole other issue; and Cobra knows what is right and how he should be with them... dont' you Cob? the thing is, Everyone has their bad moments but it doesn't color your whole life) BUT I am telling him to not let his W run over him like a Kenworth, then back up and do it again while he smiles nicely and tries to make her happy!
So.. bite me... Karen...
By giving back, in measure, what he dishes out; I've actually gotten his attention. It's when I go back to being Miss Nice-I'm-there-for-you that he starts rolling over me again.
-------------------- I was not commenting on YOUR choices in YOUR marriage. I was commenting on where Cobra is based on probably 100 postings of his that I have read. As for "bite me"- if this is an example of "standing up for yourself" I think it would behoove you to reread what I wrote. I was strictly addressing Cobra's sitch and the utility of those tactics in Cobra's sitch.
Additionally, I am divorced AND remarried. I did divorce in part due to my failure to stand up for myself with someone who was a control freak and addict. However, no amount of engaging him in verbal battles would have fixed that marriage. I couldn't do his work for him any more than Cobra can do the work for Mrs. Cobra or vice versa.
Cobra,
The questions were meant as guides. They are not too black and white and they are not platitudes. If you honestly look at YOUR own (not what you think I want you to choose) answers to the questions you might come to some realizations as to how to get closer rather than further from your goals.
I don't suggest that you should let Mrs. C clutter up the whole house and control everything. I do suggest that you set some goals for yourself and your marriage and then procede to have your actions relate to those goals. Calling of names and recinding the other parent's directive to a child doesn't lead anywhere positive. Definately not to being respected by the other party.
Cobra, you have very good insights on other's situations. You are very intelligent. You have even been known to show some sensitivity to people on this board. I would like to see you apply more of the sensitivity and inisght to your marriage. See your wife as she really is - a person who also wants a good, supportive, happy marriage and children who are well mannered, productive citizens. Do you think she wants to live in your marriage as it is?
BTW Cobra - remember when you said that I usually tend toward sympathetic, gentle type posts? This is one time I am not because I am firmly convinced that you can do better than this. When you perform kicks in TKD one of the primary skills to develop is balance....let's see some balance in your R.
