If you are to get anywhere, you must establish a minimum level of civility. Name-calling is absolutely out of the question, no matter how mad you are. There is no excuse for either of you to resort to calling names, and ESPECIALLY using the f-word to each other. There have to be rules of engagement and this must stop if you are to have any respect for each other at all.
And don't say, "well, when I'm that mad, I can't control myself," because I would say, "would you ever call your boss a f'ing @#$%#?" I didn't think so. You can control yourself.
When I first started dating my bf he called me a name once, and he did it in jest. I said, "I don't want you to call me that or speak to me that way ever, even if you're joking." I said we had to maintain a minimum level of civility. He was taken aback and got mad again because he was so embarrassed, but he never did it again. I guess he and his ex did it and it didn't bother either one of them and he thought it was kind of normal. I won't tolerate it.
Only once in my life have I ever used the f-word AT someone (I certainly use it for emphasis as much as or more than anyone), and that was to my first husband when I found out he had been unfaithful. Other lesser names, like b@stard, b!tch, the c-word... all of those are also totally off limits IMHO.
And involving your child in the ugly exchange is also unforgivable. Cobra, you're better than this!
