Little update on my situation...Well while the wife was in Florida I was really beginning to detach. It was nice not having to see her. She actually snuck back early to spend a couple days with OM...but I did not even care because I felt like I wanted her gone so I do not care what she does. Problem...I go to pick her up Saturday with my new attitude of I don't care...live your life...we will both go on...I mentioned we should start thinking about a divorce...well this upset her...she does not want a divorce...she wants me to wait for her on the back burner while she figures things out...she just wants to move out and then she thinks she will fall in love with me again. She wants to date me...she wants to keep her hooks in me. She does not care if I date other women(at least she says that but I think she will care)...just does not want me to fall in love.
It is ridiculous...I don't know what to do. The problem is we spend a nice Saturday and Sunday together and she is very loving and feeds me what I desire and I start falling in love with her again. I am finding it impossible to detach...she plays me like a musical instrument. I can't help but feed her affection back. Maybe it will be easier when she moves out. Part of me still desires her strongly and loves her...but another part of me is so disgusted by what she is doing and I feel I could never trust her again. Don't know what to do...all of the people that I talk to about the situation tell me to divorce her...leave her...forget about her...push her to the curb...this includes friends and the marriage counselor I have been seeing alone. Just very hard because I do still love her and she is very good at playing this game with me...I think at some point if I start dating other women maybe it will break her grip on me...when I start realizing there are other fish in the sea. So the saga goes on...detach detach detach is my new mantra...
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
