I think she will take that paragraph ok...because it is exactly what she tells me she wants. We have talked in length about that subject and what she is after so I am just kind of trying confirm her desire and goals...remind her of why she is doing what she is doing. I know her...and I know the last thing she wants is to get herself into another longterm relationship...so she will take it how it's meant to be taken.
In fact I just had lunch with her...and it is odd. I arrived in a good mood with my new attitude and by the end of the lunch we were flirting uncontrollably. I know she is leaving but I still like playing around with her and kind of letting her realize I can be fun and in a good mood again. I like being happy...I want to kind of play this game with her for now...make her enjoy being around me again. I kind of feel like we are no longer married and am trying to detach myself from caring about what else she does but that does not mean I can't be attractive to her when we are together. I figure this is our best hope of eventually having something again. It is like now I feel like I can really DB when I no longer concern myself about what she does when she is not with me.
About the boffing...this again is her ideal scenario...she has told me she figures when we separate she is going to miss me and want me more than ever...I know it is a little odd...and probably makes things more confusing for myself more than anyone but I just really want to kind of enjoy it and not read anything into it...I do not know how I will handle it yet or if I will be able to...I am hoping to be able to share some intimate moments yet still remain somewhat detached...I just want to think of her as kind of a girlfriend for now...one that I do not have any claim too.
She seems kind of certain that after a year or so she wants to come back and be a mother and my wife again...now personally I am not as certain about it...but for now I will play along and really who knows maybe she is right.
This is still all very new...kind of playing around with stuff...see what I can and cannot handle...test the limits...think about what I really want out of my relationship with her. Eventually I plan on dating other women and that may change things between me and the W...I do not think she will mind if I date (she encourages me to do that) but I am kind of a one woman man so if I get serious at all with someone else I will cut off any serious affection with W.
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
