My Story - Looking for help and support

[SRTogacihC]

Thanks for the kind words. I am actually in a good mood today. I feel relieved to have some closure and decisions made. I don't know that it is necessarily the end for us but it is for now...wife really insists she is not leaving because of OM...she just wants to be free...part of me believes, part doesn't...it is likely a combination of the two...if there was no OM she would not be leaving now...but I do believe her when she says she has no intention of having a long term relationship with him. I do know she wants freedom to make her own choices...she has never had that in her life. Thought I would share a little letter I wrote to the wife today.

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W,

Another letter from little old me…hopefully a happy letter. I have come to accept you are leaving…I am no longer going to try and talk you into staying. This is kind of where I wanted to get to, I am glad you have made a decision. Now I feel like I can move on with my life and stop being such a basket case. Please do not tell me you want to stay any more…or you don’t know what you want to do unless you are dead serious about wanting to stay. I am in an accepting place right now and do not really want to get dragged down that path unless you are absolutely serious. I am not going to deny I would welcome you back if that is your desire but I just do not see that…I think you are going to do wonderfully on your own.

Now that we are friends again I would like to offer you some advice…friend to friend…I know you are sick of my advice as a husband but now this is coming hopefully from one of you lifelong best friends. First…yes I would like to be your friend forever…you can always come to me if you need to talk and need someone to listen. I will be there for you…I do still care very much for you and always will. We have been very important parts of each others life and I hope we can continue to be that way as great friends. We have a huge responsibility of raising S3 and we need to both be strong for him. Do not let other people force us apart…I will not.

Here is my advice…I will beat your ass if you get into another long term love relationship right now. Do not fall in love again! I know we talked a little this morning about this but I wanted to email anyway. I will be so disappointed in you if you do not spend the next couple years on your own. Have lots of boyfriends…have lots of relationships…make friends…experience what you think you have been missing…protect yourself. I hope in the next few months you can see me as your boy toy once in awhile. I would love to share some passion with you once again. I think you will see me in a different light now that we are just going to be friends. I hope you can lose some of the hate/anger that you have for me now that we will no longer have a husband – wife relationship. Focus on your new career. Focus on making something of yourself. Be one of the women from Sex in the City! Don’t let men decide your destiny. You are going to be a very busy woman and I expect a lot from you…I expect you to succeed!

I don’t know if we are over for good. I know I say that I think we are over but really I do not know what the future holds for us. I know we will always be close because of S3 and who knows what could happen…you have a certain magic over me and occupy a big part of my heart and if you come to me in a year and say you are madly in love with me again I do not think I could fight you off ;-). I am certainly going to move on with my life but I also am not really looking for a long term love relationship any time soon. My main focus is going to be S3. I know I will be ok. I am a very smart person and I think I do know who I am and what I need in life.

New chapters in our lives are starting…lets make them successful and happy. Lets have some fun again.
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It is still hard but I feel relieved. Time to move on...I am sure I will check in here once in awhile...provide an update. May start a new thread in the Separated forum...I really appreciate all of the advice and support. It has helped.