My Story - Looking for help and support

[SRTogacihC]

I was doing so good detaching yesterday until the evening. Wife came to me crying saying she does not want to leave...she loves me...she does not want to break up our family...she wants to end the A...but she does not know how...she does not feel she is strong enough...she does not feel like she can stop talking to him. She feels she has failed and taken the easy way out her entire life. She does not know any other way. She feels she has failed at everything she has tried her entire life. Did not really know what to tell her...just listened and told her it is her decision and noone elses...only she can make it happen if that is what she wants. If she feels she has always failed why not start succeeding now...change her life...start being a success.

Puts me in such an impossible position...I love hearing she wants to stay and that she does love me...makes it very hard for me to pull away...maybe I should as it will make her realize she is going to lose me...I don't think she quite fathoms that yet...whenever I talk about that I will miss her and it will be sad not sharing my love with her it gets her very upset and she says she does not even want to think about that...it so makes me want to scream at her, WAKE UP...STOP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING...YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR FAMILY! YOU WILL LOSE ME! YOU BETTER START THINKING ABOUT THAT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!, obviously I don't...I just tell her she needs to do what she feels she needs to do...she is making the decisions.

She said she would like to go to individual counseling asap...so I will make that happen. Maybe that will help?

Anyone have any advice on how to end an affair...I have basically tried to tell her the only thing she can do is cut it off cold turkey...no IMs, texts, secret meetings, emails, phone calls, etc...just stop it and suffer and after some time it will get easier and you will feel better. It is so like a bad drug addiction...she can't help herself. At least with drugs you can go to rehab...I wish there was like a residential treatment center for affair addiction. Maybe there is something like that??? Will have to ask my counselor at my next appt. Maybe some in house mental health treatment or something?

Still in limbo...taking it a day at a time...