This morning she talked to me for like a half hour...I just listened...told me how much she loves me and does want to stay and work on us. Wants to stay together for our son...and that she does love me and can't bare leaving.
She is afraid. She does not know if she is strong enough to break it off with OM. I guess she did once early in their relationship when OM went back to an old flame. Does not know if she can get through it again.
So now once again I do not know where I am at? She blew right through my ultimatum...do I force her out now? I don't really want to do that if she is willing to work on us but for now I am sticking with Nov 1st and still plan on her moving out unless she really make a strong commitment to get off the path she is taking.
It is very hard...I hate staying in this situation where everything is unknown. At this point I am just providing 95% support...probably hurt and angry 5% of the time. I am resolute that the A must end and that I will not accept the situation. Making an effort to get on with my life but am finding that hard as the W does want to spend a lot of time together and we are getting along very well right now when the problems are on the back burner...I very much enjoy this time and think it does have positive effects on our relationship and her desire to stay so I don't think I should give that up yet. Plus I am valuing spending any time I can with my son. Today I had planned to take my son to Kiddie Land...just me and him...wife was like...I am not invited?...well I had kind of planned it last night when I thought we were separating so no I had not planned on her being included...she was in tears saying she wants to go with...uggg. I suppose if she does end up leaving that is when I will detach more. Day to day again...
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
