My Story - Looking for help and support

[SRTogacihC]

To be honest I have pretty much had it. We are supposed to relationship talk/decide on Thursday evening...and I do not think she will like what I have to say. She really wants to be single and I think I want her to be too...I don't think I can ever trust her again. I think her plan
is to lie and lie some more on Thursday and try to put the A back in hiding...so she can stay in this comfortable position. I feel she really does not want to work on the marriage she just wants to go back in the mode of "faking it" at home and lead her single life on the side. Part of me wants to get angry and just let her know everything I know and throw all of her lies in her face...the problem is I do not want to get too nasty because I want to keep my son here with me. I am so tired of being the door mat and walking on egg shells around her. She is taking advantage of me at this point seeing how far she can push things.

I know she still is undecided about what to do and she sees her choices as being unhappy staying with me or going out in the real world and being single happy go lucky. Unhappy staying with me scares me because I feel like 6 months from now...1 year from now...etc...we are back in the same position. May be best just to cut my ties now...try to get custody of my son...and move on with life while I am still young enough to start over. I will wish her all of the luck in the real world...part of me likes the idea of her likely regretting this all later...I think she is in for some surprises in the real world...she has grown quite accustomed to having things handed to her.

I have a lot to think about and decisions to make. I do still love her tremendously and that is the hardest part...but the more she Fs me over the easier it is getting to think about cutting her loose.