it seems you are recognizing that your W is still in an EA. She is putting her emotional energy into the OM, not you. She may think that if the PA is ended that the EA is OK. I think you do need to tell her that this arrangement is not OK for the long term. She is not committed to working on your R if her emotional needs are being met elsewhere. That, of course, does not mean you have to be her everything or her only outlet but you need to be up there on the priority list! Again, I can't fathom how they somehow don't see the downside to this? I guess it's still that old infatuation working its magic. The other option is to just keep on dbing and wait for it to burn itself out, and if it doesn't and turns back to a PA then do what you have to. It's a tough call. I know some on this board have forced an end to contact but I'm not convinced that this is the best strategy in the long run BUT, as always, you can only deal with what you can deal with. Each of us has our limits and only you can know when you've reached yours! No shame in that. Re: DB some like it better than DB, it's somewhat expanded but the crux of it is in DB.
