While I understand your desire to progress in your relationship and improve your marriage, it concerns me that your W refuses to end the A yet is willing to go to counseling. I think that working through your issues could in fact damage your relationship further while the OM is in the picture. His presence represents an escape hatch, and when the issues start really coming to the surface, emotions will get intense. That escape will be awefully tempting. I think it will allow your W to weigh things in your relationship against the fantasy and will prevent her from being truly committed to working on the M, and it will prevent her from being realistic in her perspective. I would trust the MC, especially since you like this counselor. Maybe you can go alone for some time.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
