Yes, I believe the anger and hurt we feel as LBS's, while understandable and valid, causes us immense problems in looking clearly at our sitch's. Our S's indeed have some basis in reality for what they have done, whether we approve of their choices or not. Something was missing. Your sitch is painfully familiar. My W stopped loving me 3 years ago and also resigned herself to whatisis until she met her "friend". Suddenly there was closeness and a togetherness she lost with me. That is fact! I can argue about all the wonderful things abour our M and how wrong she was but where does it get me? Nowhere. Maybe we should, as LBS's, try to look at our sitch's as brand new. Here is a woman I want to get to know, to impress, to make want me (just like you did when you first met her!) Of course, we must tailor our efforts and have the advantage of actually (at least hopefully) knowing more about the target of our affections now. As GH put it so well (can that man talk, I'm a convert !!!) she can walk anytime and no piece of paper, vow etc makes a damn bit of difference now. All of us must put away the pain that goes with the victim mentality as much as possible. We each had a part in getting to where we are now, end of story. Where do we go now, that's the real question. I'm glad to see you seem to have a handle on things right now. Go for it!
!!!) she can walk anytime and no piece of paper, vow etc makes a damn bit of difference now. All of us must put away the pain that goes with the victim mentality as much as possible. We each had a part in getting to where we are now, end of story. Where do we go now, that's the real question. I'm glad to see you seem to have a handle on things right now. Go for it! 