Well Monday turned out pretty good. Wife was over whatever sickness. She was quiet all day and obviously in a depressed mood. Tried to not read too much into it...the obvious answer is she is fighting an inner battle over which direction to go.
We went to a party at my sisters and I thought that it went well. We acted kind of goofy together and had a good time. I am glad I have my family since my wife seems to mostly like them and realizes if something happens between us that their support for her will go down hill quickly. She got first hand knowledge of that when my brothers ex-girlfriend came up as a topic (had been together ~2 years and just broke up recently)...we all loved her when they were together but some negative things were said last night. Anyway party went well.
We then came home and wife said she would like to start a journal on the computer and I showed her how to password protect it so I could not gain access. She started IM-ing her GF and GF did a good job of pissing the W off. She tried to call OM but he did not answer so she vented with me...that was a good thing...and I just listened...did not judge...did not try to fix the situation...just agreed and listened. We then went up to bed and watched sex in the city together...spending time in the evening together is something we used to do often and I think it is very much a positive...I was just watching the show with her and got up to get something to drink and she smiled and said come here and hugged me and told me she loved me...made me feel great but I do realize just one up and there are still going to be downs...so I did not read too much into it but was nice none the less. I then gave her around an hour massage that basically put her to sleep...told me it was the best massage she has ever had. Was nice...except it made me horny as all hell but I controlled my urges...sex is still probably a ways off and I kind of plan on turning her down the first time she offers unless I feel it is very sincere...I do not need mercy sex which is what I feel I have been having for the past year or so.
Finished 2/3s of the DB book...read the chapters on 180s and last resort and my goal now is to start doing some 180s. Today I dressed totally different for work...more dressed up...me emailing and IMing her is over for awhile...she can initiate contact. Tonight after work I am going to do a little shopping and go get a drink or two before I come home...I always come right home so this will be kind of a shock for her. I really feel like this stuff will work...time for her to spend some time thinking about me and make myself less available...also this is the only night all week she could probably see OM so this may put a damper in some plans (then again maybe not...I had asked her if she had any plans this week and she had said no...we have commitments the rest of the week in the evening). I do not really want to trick her or anything just mostly get on with my life a little and hopefully she will see me in a new light...helps me to get away and gain a little confidence in myself. Feel very upbeat this morning...oh well off to a meeting.
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
