Well the MC was pretty much a disaster IMO...while I thought it went pretty well at first and we got our history out and what led us to this point...the C even took a good approach with the A at first saying it was just a symptom of other problems.
But when it came to the W ever seeing the OM again the C took a real hard line approach on the A and that just shut my W down. I could see she just immediately wanted to bolt. In fact we just got home and that is exactly what she did was bolt likely to go see the OM. Even though they may no longer be in a PA it is still definitely a very strong EA. The OM makes her feel good, alive, and problem free. I do kind of agree with the Counselor that it is going to be sort of impossible to work on our marriage and regain a connection with each other while the W is getting that somewhere else. But I am more willing to work with the wife and try to win her back slowly and DB and hopefully bring her back in her own time.
The C also used our S3 as kind of a hard line tactic saying kids of divorce are X times more likely to be messed up, unhappy, etc, etc... W really did not appreciate that. She feels all of the pressure is on her and it is all her fault now. After we left I tried to calm the situation and accept a lot of the blame but I don't think it did much good. W seems much more concerned about OM and their relationship than anything else.
It is like I feel like I should have came to the defense of my wife while we were with the MC but it is very hard because it is true every time she does go see him it does break my heart and it is very very hard for me to deal with so I would really rather her not see him again but I saw what happenned when I took that approach and could see she wanted to make a run for it. I think I have a better shot with her living in the house and being friendly and honest with me than have her doing things behind my back and feeling cornered and trapped.
I talked to her on the way home and basically told her go ahead and see OM and lets still go to the MC and just not tell her. I don't know what else to do. The MC wants to have like 3 sessions with us together and then 3 seperate sessions each and then 3 more together. I would like to do it but now I am not very sure it is going to happen.
Back to square one...bleh!
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
