hey SRT, rather new here as well and if you're looking for a place to vent and get some great and wise advice this is the place. as soon as you get the book and Michelle has other good ones too, get reading. really helps you see things in a different perspective. as for the PI thing, as hard as it is to do, especially when a trust like that has been broken, really need to ease up and hold back. start little by little and it will get easier. sounds like she is remorseful for what has happened, and the fact she said she wants to remain married to you is a good sign! definitely do not push her in a corner or she'll turn and run. even though you might not want to, give her the space she needs to think things out and reflect. remember you'll have your good days and your bad. hope some of this helps. keep reading and posting. take one day at a time.
