I sure hope he finds peace and happiness. . . I sure hope I do to.
you will honey just give yourself time.Let me tell you part of my history so you never think about leetin ghte pain you are in force you to give your girls to Kevin. Yes no two men are alike BUT I will share my horror story with you so that you can see that even though you may only be scraping by it is better when real love is present,, the LOVE I Know you have for your little angels.

I trusted my XH to have my boys instead of 50/50 every other week to ,,,
I had them in the summer and he had them during the school year. My H and I in the beginning had to travel alot so I thought it best that my boys stay here with their DAD in our hometown. Well I remember the day I picked up my boys for summer break....
They were emaciated and I am not exaggerating at all. They were not allowed to eat certain foods and no fat b/c their new stepmom had had Cancer of some sort and felt it in their best interests. Sometimes my boys were not allowed to eat dinner if they misbehaved,,, they were so hungry sometimes they would eat DOG FOOD. Or their little bodies {{ they were 11 and 9 at the time}} craved sugar so they would "SNEAK" honey on ice cubes. I trusted my Xh and his new Wife after all they are Christians and I also love God so why worry... I was painfully very wrong and they deceived me and also beat my children with a belt the stepmom would hold them down while their Dad " knocked sense into them".
When my boys told me these stories and many more which would take too long to post I cried and cried and cried some more. My Husband who I am still married to now was in shock when he saw my boys. You could see every rib and their little faces were hollow.At the time my H and I were struggling and our little ones were in Mexico with my Inlaws. We lived in a bad part of St. Louis and our apartment probably should have been condemened ( sp) and we actually had rats. My boys were so happy to be with my H and I even in those conditons. And you know how God provided for me,, I was already working for a Restaurant at the time I picked my boys up for the summer and even though they were close to an age where I could have let them saty at home alone ,i worked @ 70 to 80 hours a week and my bosses let me bring my boys every day to work.

It was a big restaurant and the boys would help with set up etc. etc and then stay there all day with me. God will provide for you Honey just have faith. Look for the blessings... they will come.
Hang in there and I am glad you are ready to fight for your life again.. do not ,,, do not give up. I still have my G-darn stilettos and I will kick your a#%. well not really but you know what I mean sweetie.
Love you honey,,,
you can do this. I promise you .. you can..
GOD BLESS...