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So you're going to be a miserable old maid? Who said anything about being miserable???? That would be pretty stupid as well .. to shut yourself of from a future rewarding and fulfilling relationship and/or marriage.




So maybe my marriage is over.

It's been over for 9 months . . . what's new?
I'm not over.
My life certainly isn't over.
It's time to rise above this broken marriage and move on.

Next week he'll get a slap in the face, when he has to start paying for the girls.
GOOD!
I'll start having an income . . . well sort of.
No where to go but up.
WOW . . . I was just so scared and panicky . . I was telling myself I can't do it.
But I won't be without help. . . for the next 19 years as long as I have my girls . . I'll have help.
That may sound like a deciding factor . . but it really isn't.
It's just a realization . . that I don't really have to do this all on my own. After next week he WILL be made to send money for clothing and diapers.
Since he is making between $700 - $800 dollars a week . . I imagine I'll be getting more than the $300 a month I am getting now.
Any one know where one of those handy calculator are???

Enough . . . is enough.
I am done with him.
I will NOT file for the D. I will not sign anything he gives me. I will make him wait.
I will keep my options open.
Most importantly . . . I will NOT talk to him.
Not anymore.

I sure hope he finds peace and happiness. . . I sure hope I do to.
I have a lot to work on. . . and yes I am scared to death . . .but damn it I will NOT let what has happened in my marriage hold me back.
I know I have a lot more to push through.
Momentary high on this CRAZY rollercoaster . . . and the craziness is only getting started.
Next week it's the support conference. Then on the 27 it will be in depth testing on Kiya . . I'm scared of going through that alone *as in without him* . . . . but . . . there is nothing I change about it.

The ball is in his court . . . it has been.
I think he's dropped it . . . but damn it . . I'm not doing the work anymore.
I'm walking alone from here out.