I went to church this morning.
The sermon hit me right in the bullseye!
I wanted to bawl the whole way through.
It was about making vows and how God looks down on us not keeping promises. The pastor kept speaking about marriage vows . . . and yatta yatta yatta.
I felt like God was trying to kick me in the butt and get me to my feet.
I just don't feel like I can stand.
I don't see a point in standing for my H.
He just keeps making the same decision OVER and OVER . . . it always ends with her.
My children honestly deserve better.
I know it's wrong . . . I know it is.
Sure we have food and a roof over our heads. But it's everything else.
It's keep the bills up to date and buying diapers and laundry detergent and all that other crap . . . it's so stressful.
I know it's hard on everyone. But I know that Kevin could at least provide those things for them.
The bare minimum really.
All of you are awesome! Really!
I know you all think I can do this . . . .
BUT I honestly think it's gone as far as I can carry it.
I cannot stand myself, my life, my husband or ANY of it any more.
It's stripping away what very little I feel I have left.
