Make that list. It's easier to get through them one by one. You can do this and we will help you.
Forget about all this D and giving girls away stuff for now... The money would be better spent on you & the babies at the moment, right?
Just one question: If you had money, would you still think that the girls are better off with Kevin? You're bringing so many things up, it's hard to tell what the main problem here is. Would you still feel this way if you had the money to get the things you need for the next few months?
Think about it. You can fix that. You just need some help. Don't be ashamed to ask for it.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
I've got at least 3 boxes of clothes from my youngest baby girl - a lot of the stuff is brand new. Sizes 6 mos+ - I'd love to send it all to you. Also, blankets & crib sheets, if needed.
Send me your address at carol_lynne1169@hotmail.com Or AmyC - if you've gotten a physical address, please forward it on to me.
I'd been putting off getting rid of this stuff for over a year....now I now why.
Quote: Just one question: If you had money, would you still think that the girls are better off with Kevin? You're bringing so many things up, it's hard to tell what the main problem here is. Would you still feel this way if you had the money to get the things you need for the next few months? NOT FOR A SECOND. If I was pulling the money he is right now, I would KNOW they are better off with me. But I am not. He's single and "rich" in my eyes . . and I have two kids and I am totally scraping the bottom of the barrel!
Amy you said something about being bounced from sitter to sitter. That's all I can offer them. As soon as I get a job I will never be home with them . . . they'll always be with someone because I am a single mom, it's not like they'll even get to be with their daddy. I just thought that it would also be less painful than me having to watch them miss me all the time. That's A LOT of the problem I had with my mother. She went right back to work after they adopted me. I remember bawling all day at the sitters and feeling so unwanted because my mom wasn't there for me . . . she left me 5 days out of the 7. I don't want my girls to feel that way about me because of the position their father has put me in. I hate him sooo much. Pure hate.
I am already recieving ALL the assistance (cash, med, food) and I also live in the freakin low income (lower rent but you pay all utilities and such (nicest apartments in town )) Oh and Frank . . . my grandmother runs the foodbank . . so I get many a hand outs
I just wanted to say thank you all, thanks so much. I haven't heard from him yet . . . . maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don't think I can keep these girls though . . . emotional, physically or in any other way. I just . . feel . . . so bad. . . I don't even know what else I was going to say . . but I have to get going, I'll be on more later. . .
Quote: Just one question: If you had money, would you still think that the girls are better off with Kevin? You're bringing so many things up, it's hard to tell what the main problem here is. Would you still feel this way if you had the money to get the things you need for the next few months? NOT FOR A SECOND. If I was pulling the money he is right now, I would KNOW they are better off with me. But I am not. He's single and "rich" in my eyes . . and I have two kids and I am totally scraping the bottom of the barrel!
Yes, it's not fair. It sucks. But that's the way it is, right? OK so this is a money question. So how much do you need to make these problems go away for a few months. You shouldn't have to work full time yet, Kiya needs you still.
Like you said, it's not like your H is going to stop working and be a STAD, right? They're going to be in child care anyway. Even worse, because since he's on the road so much, they wont even have him at night. You on the other hand can get a job - even a partt-ime one and start getting on your feet. We'll help with that too.
Emily, take a deep breath. You can do this!
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
Quote: I remember bawling all day at the sitters and feeling so unwanted because my mom wasn't there for me . . . she left me 5 days out of the 7. I don't want my girls to feel that way about me because of the position their father has put me in.
You can't think that way. Your children will appreciate the time you have together when you are with them. They will get used to being away from you. My kids are older but I still feel bad not being able to spend time with them. I feel it is my fault that they spend the whole summer sitting home alone while there friends are off to the beach or where ever they go with their parents. I try to make the time we do have together good times. When all of this is all said and done and as our kids get older, they will remember WE are the ones who tried to make them have good lives. They will know we did all we could for them. Right now no matter if you have to leave them with a sitter or not, down the road they will love you more for all you do for them. I don't have any extra money to do a lot with them but we do things that are cheap or free. You learn to do what you can and your kids will learn the same thing.
I went to church this morning.
The sermon hit me right in the bullseye!
I wanted to bawl the whole way through.
It was about making vows and how God looks down on us not keeping promises. The pastor kept speaking about marriage vows . . . and yatta yatta yatta.
I felt like God was trying to kick me in the butt and get me to my feet.
I just don't feel like I can stand.
I don't see a point in standing for my H.
He just keeps making the same decision OVER and OVER . . . it always ends with her.
My children honestly deserve better.
I know it's wrong . . . I know it is.
Sure we have food and a roof over our heads. But it's everything else.
It's keep the bills up to date and buying diapers and laundry detergent and all that other crap . . . it's so stressful.
I know it's hard on everyone. But I know that Kevin could at least provide those things for them.
The bare minimum really.
All of you are awesome! Really!
I know you all think I can do this . . . .
BUT I honestly think it's gone as far as I can carry it.
I cannot stand myself, my life, my husband or ANY of it any more.
It's stripping away what very little I feel I have left.
Jesus is your Source. He has all that you need and more. Jesus is your Strength. HE will get you through this. Jesus is your hope. Not Kevin.
Look to Christ, the Author and Finisher of your faith, Emily.
It is true that He does not give us more than we can bear BUT the key to that being true in our day to day lives is that we rest in Him, trust in Him and draw our strength from HIM.
For everything you are suffering, there is a Word. None of this has caught Him by surprise.
He is just waiting for you.
Emily your life has not been Spirit filled or led. The enemy has the title deed to operate right now and he has been having a field day. You MUST take control AWAY from the enemy and give your life to Christ.
TODAY!
That is the only way to make it.
Faith is not something you have, Emily, it is something you DO. You have to submit your life to Christ. Ask him into your heart and your life. Ask Him to change you. To live in you.
. 