It's already done. I'm just waiting for a call back. I'm hoping he'll come get them this weekend. I know he'll be out on the road a lot . . . but they deserve the life he can give them.
I can't do anything. I'm trapped in my own mind and body. I don't have a driver license. . . I haven't had a job since December when he kicked me out and I had to quit. The jobs up here are SOOO limited . . . and unfortunately my hours are sooo limited that no one will hire me for the hours I can work. I'm just worthless. Can I get better? YES! Do my girls deserve better now though? HELL YES! I've been miserable all day. I've cried and yelled and stormed around . . . and just been awful. I've laid flat on the kitchen floor twice today and just bawled. After I called my H I puked in the sink. . . I just cannot do this anymore. He wins. He can have it all. I don't deserve those babies. They deserve better. I love them enough to see that. Maybe giving up your kids is hereditary . . . maybe it's a mistake. If this is how my mother felt . . then God Bless her soul! The pain . . .
