Emily, I have been reading your sitch and I have never said anything until now. I have been exactly where you are right now... I had ALL the negative thoughts you are having right now... BUT this is not about him... This is about you... Get strong for yourself - forget about him. Stop being so negative about yourself - it only hurts you and drives you into a tailspin - which it sounds like you are in right now...
Please take this just as someone saying, Pick yourslef up. No person is worth the pain you are causing yourself... You can control your feelings - so do it!! Stay strong, stay positive, and stop compaining about how you are feeling and saying that he is causing your pain... You control how you react to everything, so stop reacting this way...
I know it is not that easy, but it does get easier with time... You may hate me for saying all of this, but again, I have been where you are... It took a lot of love from my family and friends and a lot of reading and relaxing on my part to finally realize that my H is going to do whatever he wants. BUT I CAN CONTROL how I react to it and to him...
Okay - I have rambled... Keep your head up.... You can do this... You can handle it, you feel low now - but at least know that there is no place to go but UP!!!
