Quote: You should be his anchor but are choosing to let him sink.
He has sunk me! He has put me in a place of such grief and pain. I barely want to get up in the morning anymore. I hate myself all day everyday . . . because I must not be good enough. Why the hell would everyone in my life ALWAYS walk out.
He was refuge from all the pain . . . I took comfort in him from the moment I met him . . . because I could fake ANYTHING with ANYONE and he always saw through my bullshit. He always knew when I was really hurt. He was willing to take on me . . . he was willing to try to love me. And I just kept pushing him away. Now it's over. AND IT'S MY FAULT. It's my fault for pushing him away and always trying to keep him at a distance for all those years. He's found someone else . . . someone that can love him. I can't. I mean I do . . . I love him soooo much. But I can't do it right. I'm too screwed up I guess.
I'm trapping him. It's time to let go. I'll move on . . . but I will NEVER be with anyone else. I respect myself that much. He was my shot and I [censored] it all up and now it's time . . . it's time to just move out of his way. Look at all the wonderful things he does for himself since I got out of the picture. He got a GOOD job for once . . . that will actually make enough money to cover all the bills PLUS. I am like poison. Look at me. . . I sit here rotting. I can't find another job . . . . . . I can't do a goddamn thing right. I am trying to do the best thing. I see no other option. That's every thought in my head. I couldn't see the screen typing this. I hope it satisfys what you needed to hear. That's me . . . that's my heart poured out as best as I can.
