Quote: Those of us who do get a second chance at our marriages need to remember that the fight is never really going to be over.
Like the weeds I am pulling again today, the enemy is always going to come back and try to choke the life, and the Light, out of our marriages.
When the storm came and wrecked my house and a good part of my yard, my attention was turned to the damage to the structure, the visible damage. I quit paying attention to the little details such as the flower bed, the pepper plants etc...
...and they suffered.
The devil's in the details.
Whatever "big thing" you think you have to handle NOW, I'd be willing to bet that while your attention is on that, you're missing the opportunity to cultivate some other little "detail" that might matter more in the end.
I don't entirely know what that means myself.
It's just something I am thinking about today...
Like the movies where a criminal does something that pulls all the police to one part of town...it's a diversion to keep them away from where the real crime is happening.
Do you see what I see?
Is this what you ment Amy?? It makes much more sense!
I see what you see . . . but what exactly does it mean, what am I missing?
I only know that I felt the need to share that with you. I imagine your "big thing" is Cassie. That's where you concentrate but that's not where you need to have your attention because she is just a diversion from the real problems. One thing is that it means to keep working on you. But only you know the deeper issues of your sitch - the details - and those are what you should pay attention to.
Sorry to be cryptic. I don't mean to be. I just don't know anything other than the fact your attention is on the wrong thing.
Cassie is not the problem. She is a symptom. Like all OM/OW.
I don't know what those real problems are either honestly.
I wish I knew ANY truths about the sitch.
The whole thing keeps shifting and changing as new lies get uncovered.
I don't even know what happened back in December. I knew he and I were fighting a lot . . . . I knew he wanted out of the sitch. I thought that as soon as we our own place and he could start sleeping better it would get better . . . . but I got kicked out before any of that could happen. I NEVER saw it coming.
I mean when he kicked me out as it turns out most of that was for her.
I guess they had already started to "like" each other back then.
Since out situation wasn't good at all . . that was too much stress. He and I NEVER saw each other because he worked full times nights and I worked full time days. . . so we had maybe 5 minutes together. He spent all day with his Mom and sister (who HATES me) and her (Cassie). Well I guess that Cassie and his sister were in fact the ones who pushed him to kick me out.
Before we moved in there everything between us was OK . . out sitch sucked BIG TIME . . but he and I were REALLY close . . I mean obviously we were alright . . . alright enough that I got pregnant again.
I don't know what bigger issue there is right now.
If she's out of the way . . . he can move forward and heal some of his issues.
I can heal mine . . . and hopefully we'll meet in the middle.
Enough about my sitch for a second. Check out this song about Pennsylvania . . .
Quote: We are "cop rock" we are screech We are z. cavaricci We are laser removed Tasmanian devil tattoos
We are third string we are puck We are special people's club We are the half shirts with Irreverent spring break top ten lists
We are munsoned we are squat We are flashing twelve o'clock We are spread out butt cheeks Pulled apart so just the air leaks
We are "ishtar" we are tab We are no right turn on red We are the moustaches The beatles grew when they dropped acid
You are the heart dotting "i" In the word "apologize" Scribbled drunk on a postcard Sent from somewhere volcanoes are I am the heart with no name Airbrushed on the license plate Of a subaru that was Registered in pennsylvania
We are zima we are barf We are cinderblock yard art We are baldwin brothers Not the good one but the others
We are amway we are shemp We are sir david of brent We are the queef after A porn star breaks the gang bang record
You are the heart dotting "i" In the word "apologize" Scribbled drunk on a postcard Sent from somewhere volcanoes are I am the heart with no name Airbrushed on the license plate Of a subaru that was Registered in pennsylvania
Do you even know what a wawa is girl? Do you even know what a wawa is? Do you even know what a wawa is girl? Do you even know what a wawa is?
WOW . . . it's been exciting here on my theard! We're all out of things to say.
I am stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place and I don't like it. Money-wise . . . I know exactly what needs to happen . . . against my H's wishes I need to follow through the child support thing so that way I can cancel some of my assistance and not have a ten foot pole shoved up my butt looking for info. . . . He's making A LOT more money than what we ever used to make and he said, "I thought if any one deserved to be along for that ride it should be you." "When I come home this weekend I want to give you some money." He doesn't want to keep the support thing though. Which is stupid . . . I have NO claim to that money he's making now . . not even a joint bankaccount . . what am I a complete idiot ( You and I know that I am not . . . but does he think I am?)
I want him back . . . . but it's going to take time. The support conference is only 2 weeks away . . . that's not enough time for him to prove his stability. If anything he's working against himself right now! I heard from him on Friday and on Monday. I'm ASSuming he's too busy talking to his "main women" Cassie to bother calling me. I bet she gets all hyper about it . . . and he knows I don't. I'm sick of feeling misused!
Emily - Do NOT let him talk you out of filing for support. I'm surprised you even have a choice - in my state, if you are on assistance, the state WILL go after the father for support - they want to recoup their expenses! I'm surprised your state is not mAKING you file for child support.
Feeding, clothing, housing those kids - he IS responsible for his share. Period. How much $ have you seen from him this year? And that would pay for what share of the costs of raising those kids? Yeah, I thought so.
