He always has a load of crap. He appologized OVER AND OVER AND OVER and he just kept saying, "You hate me don't you. You've already found someone else huh?" When I would say, "No" He would launch into how sorry he was . . . and I would say, "It's alright . . what happened happened." and he would say, "but it's NOT alright, I really wanted to come home lastweekend."
His reason for not coming home, "He didn't get back to Carlisle until Sat. afternoon and he had to be in New York somwhere Sun evening." *rolls eyes* Alright whatever I'll let him slide with that one.
His reason for not having his phone. . . He dropped Cassie off. I guess for now I'll just have to believe that. Until it's proven otherwise. The phone was on a her phone plan (an extra line type deal) . . . so obviously he no longer has it.
He didn't have a reason for not calling nor did I ask. All the information I received was volunteered. I didn't question. I just remained neutral.
It puts this look on my face though cause NO MATTER what really happened. He keeps coming back to me. I am a prize to be lost in his mind . . even if he won't admit it! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Now to make up my mind about what to do. Close that door still or wait and watch if he's willing to fight his way back or not. What do you all think I should do?
He can't expect to just waltz back in after treating you as he has. That's all there is to that. He's got a lot of groveling and proving to do and I really don't think he has it in him yet to walk THAT walk. He hasn't slowed down long enough to know how much he has hurt you and exactly what it has cost him.
So other than pouring out some self-serving, whiny-assed words WHAT HAS HE DONE FOR YOU LATELY?
You be still - stand - and see what HE brings to the table, if anything.
Do not say "I love you" anymore to him, either.
He needs to know how bad he has blown it before he can comprehend what he has to do to make it right.
He needs to feel the loss of the relationship because that OLD relationship is dead. If he ever comes back and you LET him come back...it will have to be with the understanding that you're starting over, growing up and facing yourselves AND each other with COMPLETE honesty.
You're exactly right Amy. The only thing I see (well not really see but have been told) that he has done. Is actually get rid of Cassie.
We'll see if it stays that way.
I was just wondering if I should just walk away as I have been feeling that I should. I mean sure I've been "looking" for that line where I can wait and work on me and still allow him back. But I still am so angry at him. I don't really feel like standing anymore.
I don't see how this time is going to be any different than any other time. . . he calls me crying and blah blah blah BULLSH*T. . . he always runs. Why should now be any different? Why should I allow him the chance to try . . when he's been handed it over and over . . . and he always breaks my heart. I feel like being cold and cruel. But instead of screaming at him this morning . . . I thought of you Amy and played it cool. I let him talk . . and validated where I could . . and let the chips fall where they may.
I'm just wondering . . should I try to reinvest myself? Or should I cut the rope and leave him hang?
I think it only made me so happy and do this because he has put ME in the power position and I can shoot him in the foot. WRONG I know. I just don't know how I feel anymore.
I most certainly do understand Amy. I just don't know if I really feel like it. I don't feel like letting him try anymore . . because in the end he always screws it up! It could be 2 years down the road of smooth sailling and then he'll do something to make it bumpy again. . . see what I am saying?
!
