Ouch, I stubbed my toe!

[NNP1965]

Actually both were because H needed me to do something with or for him. I need to work on this.

I am reading a new book. Another real eye opener. It is called IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME. I read one part last night that stopped me in my tracks. It is about how children in alcoholic homes learn to "keep the family secrets" and not trust reality. These rules are seldom verbalized but it is somehow engrained in us.

Not long ago I came in from the Al-Anon meeting I had cried at the meeting, but thought I had composed myself pretty well before I got home. When I came in DS12 asked me why I had been crying. I told him I had not been crying and laughed it off.

OMG right then I taught my son that he could not believe or trust what he was seeing.

I am angry with my self for not knowing that my being raised in a home with an alcoholic is affecting my children. All I can do now that I now is continue to work on this. But I am more deteremind than ever to break the cycle!