I'm sorry to see you here. Like all of us, you're dealing with a terrible situation and would like for the heartache to end.
I'd really like for you to start a new thread. You've got tons to tell a few of us on this board who are dealing with the "niche" situation. Since you're a little further down the road then we are there is a lot you could tell us.
Although, my W's lesbian behavior is about two years old, I'm done. I can't belive I allowed my self to deal with this as long as I have. Recently she's done something that I can never forgive. It's illustrated her extreme lack of character and selfishness to a degree that I know now, I don't need or want someone like this in my life. I know I deserve better then this.
However, I would still like to hear about the details of your situation. I'll be looking for your thread.